One of my most frequently asked questions during the planning meeting with my couples is; '“how long does the wedding ceremony go for?” then followed by; “what happens during the actual ceremony?” so I thought this might be a good place to share the logistics on how a simple ceremony can roll out…

The whole point of having a civil celebrant led ceremony is that there are very few rules we need to follow to get you married, with the exception of the legal components which must be included no matter what.

We can work together to make sure that I have included everything you want (minimal fuss, modern wording, family and cultural traditions) and leave out everything that you don’t. Remember; nothing is set in stone. It’s all interchangeable…

Example of a simple wedding ceremony structure….

- At the very beginning of the ceremony, the celebrant, support crew and guests take their place up the front. During this time I will do my announcement about confetti during the exit, social media block, and no phones, iPads, cameras etc..for your unplugged ceremony

These days it’s very rare for couples not to have an unplugged ceremony. If you’re not sure what this means, it’s when all electronic devices need to be turned off and put away for 20-25 mins while we share your love story.

A social media block is when I ask your guests to please refrain from posting any pics of you two on their socials before you get the chance to post one yourself. Becoming official on insta is a big deal to some and using a beautiful professional pic to do this is very exciting! Friends and family will take pics during the day and night but know not to post any of the couple until they have first. It’s common practice now and people respect this

- The entrance song/s (1st Song) when the song starts, the wedding party start the walk down the aisle towards us

This can be a very nerve wracking moment, but I swear you’ll be more excited than nervous once you get to here. This is what you’ve been waiting for. There is nothing like seeing your lover all dressed up, smelling wonderful, with a big smile on their face! There might be a few tears but just let them flow, because this is the way we express excitement and joy

If you’re happy for everyone to clap and cheer as you walk in; then I am 100% here for it! This moment makes me feel so proud and excited for you

Please note; I will always encourage you to have an aisle song each. This can eliminate the nervousness that can come from waiting because you walk in just before your partner. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to start the ceremony and set the tone for the rest of the day. Please do it

- Take a minute in case there are tears to get organised, take a breath, relax, settle your heart rate back down and then I’ll start

- Ceremony begins

- Welcome to family and friends. Acknowledgement of Country, introduce myself and the lovers getting married, welcome overseas guests and absent family and friends, thank the wedding party

My ceremonies often begin with a personal version of an Acknowledgement of country. It’s not the general version that you hear at a corporate function, it’s heartfelt words to honour the land where we stand and celebrate your love story. My hope is that you also share the cultural importance and value of this very important inclusion. If you don’t though, no judgement, just let me know.

- A ‘highlight reel’ about my couple. How they meet, engagement story, funny antidote etc. (refer to questionnaire)

The highlight reel as I call it, is a few paragraphs said by me about where your relationship started, the lovely bits , then focusing on what your future looks like together

- A poem or reading (if wanted)

If you have a favourite poem, song lyrics, book passage, psalm, or love letter from the 90s and you’d like it to be read out then maybe consider including this in your ceremony. If you’re asking a guest to read this then I always put them before we start the formalities, so that they can then just kick back, relax, without waiting for their turn to stand up front

You may have a good friend that’s known you both for the entirety of your relationship so why not ask them to share a funny story about you both. It can be light, personal and really fun when it’s read with love or cheeky humour

- Start the formalities

- Celebrant reads “The Monitum” from the Marriage Act 1961. This must be read out before the vows take place.

“I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to the law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of theses witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life”

- The Marriage commitment, which consists of ‘the asking’ (optional inclusion, not a legal requirement)

Celebrant: Ruby, will you continue to trust, respect and support Bella as her lover, friend and confidante as you grow together side by side?

You: I will, I do, heck yes, ummm of course I will

- And then your personal vows

I will help guide you with writing these if needed

Please note; not everyone is comfortable sharing vows in front of everyone and I get that.

There are other moments to share them; either when you’re alone during first look, or not at all. Do what works for you. Anxiety caused by the stress of having to read out vows in front of 100 loved ones should be avoided if this isn’t for you

- The exchange of ring/rings (your legal words are said here as a repeat after me)

As you exchange rings I ask you to repeat the legal sentence after me (see below)

“I call upon, the people here present, to witness, that I, person one full name, take you, person two full name, to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/partner in marriage'“

- Big kisses! No tongue lol

Please leave the tongue in the cave…or not…

- You’re married! Yay! Now we go over to signing table...

- The signing of the register and certificates. During this time (approx 5 mins) a song/s can be played (2nd & 3rd Song)

I like to do the signing after the kiss because it gives everyone the chance to get their confetti ready for the big exit out while you’re both chilling with your witnesses over at the signing table.

But you may prefer to do the signing after your big exit. This works as well. So after 10 mins or so I’ll come find you and your witnesses and we’ll pop over to a table or the bar and do the signing. Easy

- Celebrant presents the couple to their friends and family as the marriage ceremony is completed “Please join me in congratulating our newlyweds Tom & Nora, Fay & Kay, Mr & Mrs__________, Mrs & Mrs, Mr & Mr etc etc...”

Before you do the exit walk back up the aisle, I’ll make sure you have your flower bouquet back in hand (if you have one), the confetti tossers are ready to go, the musician or myself is ready to hit play on your song, and then you’re off!

- Love mingle with everyone begins (4th & 5th Song)

- Hug & kiss with guests, then group photo, family photos, and then leave for location photos if you choose to at this time

- The average ceremony time is between 20-30 minutes

I hope I’ve covered the basics of how a wedding ceremony can roll out. Just remember that my entire job is to set the tone of the day by co-creating the ceremony that YOU want

Candice x